By David Mantey, Editor, PD&D

The latest threat to secrecy, as if any hint of secrecy seemed legitimate in a new culture of voyeurs and confessors, is a current trend worrying our former British parents across the pond. No longer shall we scream out, “The British are coming.” Our new 21st century battle cry will be, “The British are bugging ... everything.”

Rest assured, we’ll remain ignorant when it comes to espionage and war games. This tragic tale of spy vs. spy has the Brits embedding microchips and sensors in everything from the nation’s best friends to leftover fish and chips from last night’s clip at the pub.   

LoJacking pets makes sense as they attempt to take down the dangerous organized canine crime syndicates currently running the kitten-trafficking mills plaguing the countryside. The country is also weighing mandatory dog insurance — essentially a dog tax — that would penalize the law-abiding pet lover while thugs who dabble in dog fighting continue to place bets on Fido mauling Spot under five minutes.

For some reason, if a person is willing to starve, torture and train his dog into a lethal killing machine, I just don’t see him re-upping his pet insurance every six months.

According to Dylan Sharpe, a campaigner with U.K. privacy rights group Big Brother Watch, "[Embedding microchips in pets] is yet more surveillance and continuous data-grabbing by government who wants to have as much information on us as it can possibly have.”

But wait, Mr. Sharpe, there’s more.

Among the many lifestyle choices, practices and habits — most of which remain under some sort of rudimentary surveillance anyway — Britain authorities are fitting garbage cans with sensors. Intelligent rubbish receptacles began to hit the streets eight years ago, but the practice has been ramped up in the past year. Big Brother Watch claims that at least 2.6 million households are currently a part of the smart trash network. 

Does the state have the right to analyze waste? It seems harmless. You would hope that the practice would increase household responsibility, provide the government with the information to prepare alternatives to over-capacity landfills, and maybe even tweak the garbage collection system to become more efficient, and thus, less costly to the tax payer.

Unfortunately, as the Brits tease the idea of pay-per-weight refuse collection, I don’t foresee responsible property owners receiving a tax break if they recycle larger portions of their waste.

Would this work in America? For all I know, when Madison, WI introduced the new garbage collection system with uniform waste and recycling bins (which in a stroke of pure genius turned tons of former garbage cans into garbage), the city could’ve embedded a camera and sensor into my receptacles.

If you monitor my garbage, though, I’ll cover your camera with feces. I don’t have a pet monkey, nor do I practice similar slinging, but I do have a dog in a townhouse without a yard. The math is simple if you credit me with even a minute amount of social responsibility.

Beyond pet waste, I wouldn’t fear a sensor on my garbage and recycling bin. It wouldn’t be an exciting analysis — of course, other than my copies of the Socialist Worker, empty bottles of wine and dirty needles. I suppose that I’m willing to go down for a petty crime if the city is willing to assign a man to wade through Marshal’s (our dog’s) business.

According to the Brits, the chips’ purpose varies across the country. Some of the chips sense the weight of the bin, others track bin location and/or whether it’s been emptied. Every other industry is going lean, so why can’t we pare the waste from the waste industry?

The reason I believe the sensors would make users more responsible is based on my vast experience with big wasters/non-recyclers. My brother refuses to recycle anything; I think that he actually prides himself on an overflowing receptacle. And I grew up in a small town that, until recently, only offered recycling services at a remote dropoff.

I once thought the monetary incentive to recycle cans was enough to justify the transportation of 20 leaf bags full of cans in a Nissan Maxima — the odor, sticky interior and ensuing hornet infestation simply wasn’t worth $16 in loose change.

I now challenge myself to recycle as much as possible, and I take pride in the fact that the trash can doesn’t have to be roadside every week – and when it is ready for pickup, the recycling bin beside it is just as full, if not more.

Let’s not go too far with it. We don’t need cap and trade on garbage collection unless I stand to make money if I recycle more — I don’t want to have to purchase recycling credits to offset my weekly waste.

Is this another move by Big Brother to slowly move the pillow over our faces as we sleep? Or is this a good intention getting greatly blown out of proportion? Comment below or sling your responses to david.mantey@advantagemedia.com.